The Courage to Be Still

As time passes, one realizes that looks suffice beyond words, and stances suffice beyond actions. Standing still within that quiet void transforms, at times, into the most powerful answer.

I must admit; in the past, silence used to make me uneasy. Whenever I stopped, I would be overcome by a feeling that something would be left incomplete or that I would miss out on life. Consequently, my body and mind were in a constant state of hustle; every moment was overflowing with "to-do" lists.

Yet, one day, that expected breaking point arrived. The movement stopped. The noise ceased. And right then, a completely different voice began to rise from within that deep silence. I didn't even recognize it at first; because that voice was coming from within me, not from the outside.

What Did it Mean to "Hold Space"?

For a long time, I attempted to grasp the answer to this question through mental effort. I read books, conducted research, and attended trainings. However, some things only fall into place when experienced. Certain voids gain meaning when you have the courage to step into them.

I understood then that holding space is far beyond a physical expanse. Choosing not to perform a movement, tolerating being within a difficult emotion, listening to someone without trying to fix them... And the hardest part was being able to tell oneself, "you can stop now."

As I Turned Inward...

I realized how much had been piled upon me. Roles, responsibilities, the expectations of others, and voices from the outside... It turns out I had left no room for myself among them. The "me" who was constantly doing things for others encountered a profound emptiness when I looked into my own interior.

As I began to open space for myself, my body started to speak first. Those tight shoulders, a locked lower back, or a perpetually drawn-in abdomen... As those constricted areas loosened, the knots within me also dissolved, and my inner world expanded. I realized that everything I heard was actually my own echo.

The Language of Silence

That silence I had been wary of was far from being the terrifying void I imagined. On the contrary; it was the most full, most authentic space. It is only in that silence that you can hear what you feel, what you truly long for, what you want to say "no" to with all your heart, and what you hesitate to say "yes" to.

To be able to remain in that silence, you first need to give yourself permission. Unconditionally, without justification, and without the need to explain yourself to anyone... That is when the sage within you, the child within you in short, "you" begins to speak.

The Space We Hold at Yosomind

Every practice I offer today under the umbrella of Yosomind is a reflection of that first quiet space I opened for myself. I know this very well: without establishing that bond with myself, I cannot establish a true connection with anyone else.

Whether it is a group session or individual processes, my priority is to hold that safe space. A space that is far from ostentation, simple, and sensitive. Sometimes, what we need most is for someone to look into our eyes and say, "you can stop now, it is safe here."

Silence is sometimes the strongest answer. Opening space is beyond an action; it is an intention cast toward oneself, slowly and with compassion.

With love,

Elif Gökçe